We are surrounded by fake people, fake advertisements, and now we’re even hearing about fake news. How do we know what is real?
I have heard numerous accounts of other women feeling as though they can’t possibly do it all. They describe feeling that they don’t measure up to their other women friends.
We are bombarded with images and posts of women absolutely “killing it” at home, at work, in the gym, at their kids’ school fundraisers….. in what seems to be all aspects of their lives. I’ve got news for you. I’m about to blow their cover.
We all have inherent talents. These are the things that come naturally to you- the things that you often receive compliments for. Maybe you are insanely organized, or an amazing singer, or a magnificent chef. Perhaps you can run a mile in under 6 minutes, and have acquired a stack of triathlon medals. But what areas of your life do you find challenging, difficult, or maybe even impossible? Are you always late? Are you moody or grumpy to the ones you love, but more gracious and patient with complete strangers? Do you kill every plant you try to grow? Do you spend more money than you earn?
Chances are, these people you are looking up to are publicly highlighting their strengths, and successfully covering up their weaknesses. I don’t think they always do this on purpose. People innately want to put their best foot forward. Have you ever had a friend grab your phone and say, “wait let me see that before you post it?” We don’t often see food pics of burnt entrees and messy counters. How about pictures of someone’s kid in the principals’ office, as opposed to on stage holding up a math award? Here is my epic fail on Grain-free Cubano Panini…
I think the unattainable expectations we women measure ourselves against looks something like this:
Wake up at 5 am for a 6 mile run
Shower and prepare a healthy breakfast for the family.
Make their organic homemade lunches, and drive the kids to school in our immaculate eco friendly hybrid.
Work a full day slaying dragons and taking names at the office.
Come home and once again prepare an organic, from scratch, nutritious dinner from the fresh veggies in our plentiful, well-kept garden.
Help the kids with their algebra homework, because of course our perfect kids are in advanced math.
Bake grain-free, sugar-free, fat-free treats for tomorrow’s office party/kids party/ potluck/ whatever.
Clean up all the messy dishes.
Perhaps read bedtime stories to the littles if you’ve got ‘em.
After all this, have the desire and energy to be romantic with the husband, in a spotlessly clean house, and get to bed early to have enough sleep for that 5 am workout in the morning.
Not to mention, we always make homemade greeting cards, lead a bible study, volunteer at the homeless shelter, and host a monthly ladies bunco night.
Am I speaking to anyone right now?
Yes, we may be good at one, two, maybe three or four of these things, but no woman call pull off this exhausting list of unrealistic expectations we have put on ourselves. Not for very long anyway. The truth is that we need help. Some women who work full-time are fortunate enough to have a cleaning service, and maybe a husband who does dishes. Others may have the time and creativity to make everything by hand. Some women are athletes, doctors, school teachers, full-time care givers, or business executives each with their own unique set of gifts AND challenges.
No friend, you are not perfect, but guess what? Neither is she. To understand this is to accept that we all have natural gifts along with opportunities for growth. When we flex our natural strengths, we can support others in these areas, while accepting help and support from those who have the skills and abilities that we lack.
I want to be real. I want to be authentic and approachable to other women whom I can help. To quote one of my best friends, “I don’t want to be airbrushed.” If all I showed people were my good stuff, how could any friend or client feel safe to reveal their struggles. I think about many of the characters in the bible: Moses, David, Thomas, Paul, Rahab, Abram, Sarai….. So many real people with real issues. These people who God used to make history were murderers, doubters, liars, cheaters, prostitutes. I believe God included them in His story for just that reason. We need to see that even the greatest of the great are imperfect, with ugly stuff that I’m sure they wouldn’t post about if they had social media.
So in what areas are you kicking butt and taking names? In what areas do you need help from someone more qualified than yourself? I challenge you to stop comparing yourself to others who SEEM to have it all together. Throw off that desire to be good at everything, and focus on being great at being you. YOU, your authentic self…..flaws and all.
My Health Coach Program
My Thrive Program is designed to support busy moms and professionals that struggle to find the time to nurture their mind, body and spirit, let alone prepare nutritious and delicious meals for themselves, and their family. I want to empower women to take their health into their hands, and be their very best self. As a Health Coach, my mission is to help my clients make incremental lifestyle changes that will last. I help them to not simply survive, but to thrive!
Contact me for a free health consultation!
Integrative Nutrition Health Coach